140930   SHOCK NEWS  

In a shock announcement from Labotomiland [previously known as “Queensland” Australia] by the constantly shocking Newman government, the Minister for Labotamies today said that,
As from next Bubsday, this Gub’nmunt will be banning ‘growing-up’“.
Child care centres, mining communities, religious schools and tertiary education institutes, real estate agencies, crime gangs, the agriculture and toy industries, christian religions and police stations across Labotomiland, expressed glee.
Federal ALP opposition leader Bill Shorten said “GOOGOO, GAAGAA!“, and “Blubsbsssblobba“, and dropped his dummy.
When a reporter asked the Minister “When is Bubsday?“, he replied, with a big baby-like smile, in a shrill voice, “ALL DAAAAAAY!
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In other news the federal parliament Committee for Doing Over Voters has announced that from the next election, election cycles will be “simplified” to 99 days per government term.
After an extensive 15 second study and ridiculously expensive, out-sourced consultant’s research, this length for government term was found to best suit the federal politicians, because their favorite saying, is
99! Change hands!
This is ” SHOCK NEWS “.
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This morning the senior-most head of the Australian Broadcasting Corporation, THEIR ABC, Rupert Murdoch, announced that in future, ABC news will be introduced as
Filthy Rich Zionist Khazari False Jews 
Running Hollywood And Your Elections News
and added that “….we can expect more of the same ______ [sorry that’s been __________ redacted] ….as long as audiences want ‘facts’!”
Mr Murdoch went on, as he’s want to do, and said
We want to give you the truth in the introduction, and to encourage ABC’s audiences, we want them to make it up from there. Like we do.”
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In other news, there was a fatal road accident today……,
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Now over to spoiled, predominantly whiteguy, church-indoctrinated, overpaid and over drugged, silver for silence, drugs – er – sport.
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And to the weather…,
Tomorrows temperatures are expected to be high across the planet, as we and the CIA, are still pushing the global warming scam, as it’s the best way the global elite can figure, to scare the masses into stop burning energy, and because we can blame the Sun King, built by the Vatican as their returned King Jessuss, but, who’s abdicated, turned Dissident, gone rogue, which is severely concerning CIA MK-Ultra right wing religious fundamentalist mind control agents.
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We have a report, just in, that the abdicated Sun-King is now threatening life on earth with possible annihilation, unless we
sack and arrest
-board members of all Rothschild’s banks,
-all western governments,
-the Vatican cabal CEOs, the
-Al Jazeera,
-FOX and about a zillion other zionist media outlets,
-all hollywood studios,
-TAX RELIGIONS 100%, and
-implement true democratic land reforms forthwith.
  Absolutely SHOCKING!  
Looks like the end of the world, folks!
  Absolutely SHOCKING!  
Pray you wont be this SHOCKED…., ever again!
  Absolutely JAW-DROPPINGS!  
For an explanable reason, I had ABC’s top politicaal satarist, Shaun-Micallef in mind as this was drafted?  [Not quite up to his Standards in Political Satire, however…]